Link to my artists book in The Tate special archive of artists books. The Tate is the national museum for historic and contemporary art in the UK My artists book

This is my FaceBook, though I do not add people, in fact I deleted most of the people on there. Also as some people seem to doubt I am the same person on there as the artist that has their artist book in The Tate special archive of artists books, as I do and am.

FaceBook

I was on the underground the other day and a woman sat down next to me who got on at Camden Town. I asked her if one could change between northern line trains there as it seemed to say only at certain times. She said she did not know as she was only in Camden doing a music event. Difficult to hear sometimes with the noise the tube makes… She then explained she was a classical music composer, which interested me as I love music, and mentioned some contemporary composers who music I have listened to since I was a teenager, Philip Glass, Steve Reich, systems music, and silence man, could not remember his name, which she supplied John Cage, not always good with names. We then talked some more about music. She, O I should say Holly, said as I mentioned quite a lot of other music, said “You know a lot about music, are you a musician ?” I said No though I do love music I am an artist, though I have known a lot of musicians or randomly end up in conversations with them. I told her my name and the name of my art website before getting off the train/tube to change. It was not Holly’s music event in Camden as she explained she was doing the events organisation for another musician / composer… Though she also told me, that she was also currently doing a PhD in music at Trinity Laban. Would be good if she dropped me a line, always pleased to meet interesting people that I have things in common with. But it also made me think afterwards who gets on the London Underground and meets a classical composer… me obviously… Then sitting in a semi-suburban coffee shop in London, I have met a lovely woman that run her own charity and in to Mindfulness, Kate a sixty something woman who is also wonderful who is a book editor, writer, has coached someone for a TEDx talk, a mentor, has proof read and edited 24 PhD papers for people and numerous other things, that are positive in the world. A computer scientist who works for among others NASA, Google etc… An architect that had all her study paid for by a global company as she is so good, who is also part of a Google group. A woman setting up her own business, also does financial services and finishing her masters, another young woman who is just finishing and writing her dissertation for her Bio-medical degree, who also happens to model and be a beauty queen for her country. A philosophy lecturer who when I first spoke to them was finishing a chapter for the University Press Cambridge. A number of actors and actresses, including one that has appeared in a Netflix production. An ex nurse who has just got a new job, interesting as she realises she is an ongoing project not a finished article, something many people do not understand or have any interest in continual improvement… A number of lovely Persian women… and so many others… Then it is amazing who one can meet almost anywhere… All wonderful people with good hearts…

Then I seem to have spent a lot of my life meeting or knowing very interesting people, and things like meeting interesting people seems to happen a lot… When I was at my last art school I met up with an old friend in Camden and the bar we went into was busy, and we shared a table with a man and woman. I ended talking to the woman for sometime, a musician. I eventually asked if I should know who she was, she said “You might, Neneh Cherry.” I laughed and said yes I have some of the music you have done in the past with different bands. Though at the time we met and spoke, she was a solo pop star, and rather famous… Not they was something to me, never been ‘star struck’, more the wonderful conversation…

Then meeting anyone with a good heart, whatever they do is always a pleasure….

Talking to some people the other day… They asked how old I was… I replied ancient… They laughed and said you cannot be that old 35-36 years tops… I laughed and said that will do… Then someone the other week over heard and misheard my date of birth and said somewhat shocked you are 65… I laughed at that too… and said if you like… I usually only say my date of birth to officials or for official purposes… That usually causes enough laughter… Believe as no body ever seems to believe it…

Yesterday I noticed a lot of people agitated around me… I was wearing a blue Irish linen suit… a black bandana and my Caterpillar motorbike boots… The ones I was wearing the evening I was assaulted by a member of the Guardia Civil in Spain for no reason… One guy in particular on the London Underground, eastern European maybe, Romanian, Albanian or maybe Italian or Spanish… seemed extremely upset and kept talking in an agitated way to his girlfriend and looking at me and my boots… All very strange… Also going round the British Museum and elsewhere there did seem to be a ‘ripple’ as I went around… Me I always like to travel quietly… Though I do hate lies… and am not too impressed by stupid people…

On a more fun note… spoke to a lovely retired woman on the bus 2 days ago… Born in Africa, grew up and spent most of her life in England… In fact she told me she arrived in England, one day old… I thought when we first started speaking she was from the Caribbean… She corrected me… She retired back to where she was born in Africa… and set up a charity, not that she is rich as she told me… but every little helps… a raindrop one at a time… makes and ocean…

The same day 2 days ago I popped into a hotel to use their toilet… and had to walk through the restaurant, and while I was a waiter was coming the other way and I almost walked into a dark beauty with some very nice curves, who looked a little panicked seeing me almost walk into to her and for some reason looked down at my camera… which I was carrying… After going to use the toilet, I stopped by her table and apologised if I upset her, she gave me a huge smile and said No, she was an Italian… One of those ones with dark flashing eyes, black hair and olive skin… and a flashing white smile… Should have really asked to take a photograph of her… as with all big cities will probably never run across her again…

Then about a month ago… I was walking along the Marylebone Road in central London and a group of women stopped me and asked how to get to the Sherlock Holmes Museum… I gave them directions and they told me they were Greek… A group of attractive women I should have also photographed… early 20’s… They were so lovely and thanked me so much for my help… They were from Athens in Greece… and as I had a ‘strange’ time, the last time I was there, it put a smile on my face meeting such lovely women from Athens, that were so friendly… I am sure the next time I am in Athens I will be treated how I usually am… especially in Greece, which is very well, like an honoured guest…

I was invited and went to an old friends opening yesterday… Nic Fiddian-Green’s exhibition opening at Sladmore Gallery 57 Jermyn Street London… It shows Nic’s work from a student through till today… his connection to the Parthenon Marbles (Elgin Marbles) & Rodin… Nic is a very old friend… and in fact has always been one of the good friends that helps one… He is a good human being… When I was at Chelsea Nic let me have the spare room in his flat in Pimlico for free… And at the time Nic’s best friend, who I was also friends with, was Gus Christie… Gus Christie of Glyndebourne yes… I also knew Hec his older brother, though not well… and their sister. We had lots of fun and fine times together… Though I did not see Gus at the show, I did see Nic’s sister but did not say hello as I was never sure if she liked me… Also because I was waiting to talk to Nic, his wife and maybe his sister when the show quieted down… 

Though friends come to openings it is also business and I did not want to interrupt… Nic is a brilliant classical / contemporary sculptor… And if you pass Marble Arch you will see a monumental sculpture of his next to it… A giant horses head… bit difficult to miss… O the woman in the shot I hear you say… Well I spoke to a few of the people working at the event… who all turned out to be fashion… visual merchandisers at Topshop by day and events workers by the light of evening… I did mention to one of them about LinkedIn, and said about connecting with me asI had shot fashion and had lots of fashion connections on there. Got a strange reaction, as she turned around and said “O you are the go to man are you ?” In a rather unpleasant way. I said no, but if you want to connect you could always look through my connections and try ad connect with them. I heavily suspect she twisted what I said intentionally and then probably badmouthed me to the other events workers and maybe her boss, who was there and use to work for the gallery. There are some neurotic unpleasant people in fashion no matter how attractive they are, you know the kind, bitchy, lying and backstabbing. This woman though… Well I noticed her as she entered… Style and poise… a certain elegance that stood out in the crowd… Though I did not talk to her for a long time after seeing her… It was not that I did not want to, but thought it better I be quiet there, as it was not my show… But eventually I found her impossible to resist and we started speaking… A lovely woman with a sad tale… As you can tell from the photograph we spoke, laughed, I accidentally spilt some wine on her dress… I was slightly nervous… not so much speaking to her… but seeing Nic, as it had been time… She did not make me nervous but made my heart sing… as it does talking to a lovely beautiful intelligent stylish woman… Though for reasons I cannot fathom after I took this photograph I was asked to leave… not by her or she wanted me too… I took it with this lovely woman’s permission and smile… and sadly I do not have her contact details, as I would love to talk to her / see her again… Can you blame me… Nothing to do with Nic… We spoke outside briefly afterwards… She did tell me her name but out of all the conversation we had, it is somehow the silent part… I am terrible with names… 25th April 2018… Talking to a lovely woman and spurned by fate… The exhibition is well worth going to see… In fact I would recommend going to the British Museum to see the the Rodin and Parthenon Marbles and then to Nic’s show to see Rodin & Nic Fiddian-Green’s work… Also if anyone has sympathy for me in my plight maybe this lovely woman’s contact details or rather herself getting in touch with me if she wants too… But if she does not so be it… 

Some people might claim I am volatile… But I hardly ever lose my temper… and considering I have had idiots mess me around when I was not sure if my mother would live or die… Then for the last 3 years or so have been hassled and harassed by morons and generally ‘toxic’people… because of another bunch of lying ‘toxic’ people lying about me… including ex’s, women who hit on me, who I had not the least interest in… The police who seem to not actually check or investigate anything, but listen to any lying arsehole on social media with a sob story… or anywhere else. Well I think I have been rather patient… I mean walking down the street harassed by trash… walking past… in their cars and even sitting quietly in a coffee shop trying to write… I do realise how sad and twisted these people are… and their children from what I can gather…probably get it from their parents… Not very impressive… But… There are limits to even my patients… and much of the human race does not seem to be impressive in the least… More sad, bitter, twisted, lying and back stabbing… Me I like people and still do… But no way to bring up your children or act yourself… I would much rather try to think the best of you… But a most of you make it very difficult… 3 years across 3 countries because of lying trash… and treating me badly… Do you have no shame or conscience… and I doubt the future is going to work out well for these kind of people… The Good yes, with good hearts, but the rest… I doubt…

I have had so many hit on me through life I have trouble believing it, and I was there, and that was with the ones that made it obvious, I am not being arrogant, I have never really understood why, and less so when I am not interested that they go from being into me to slagging me off. I have never really hit on women, as I use to just end up in conversations with attractive women. Not magic, a woman looks at you and smiles, and starts talking, rude to ignore an attractive intelligent woman, well you always hope intelligent, as well as attractive, and warm hearted, just talking to someone like that seems to partly restore my belief in humanity. I have spent most of my life trying to disprove some ideas I worked out when I was younger 16 or so, or at least hoping it was just confined to my local area at the time, but nearly everything I have read, and I suppose experienced keeps on reinforcing the idea I was right all that time ago. And in fact I have read research at different times that reinforces it, most people are toxic, in fact they think being toxic is normal, the way they are the way they engage with the world, what they do, then I suppose if 90% of people are toxic it is a ‘normal’ state of most of humanity. Some people might say I am a terrible person, women hitting on me and me often being indifferent, actually no, I am rather wonderful, which is why they get annoyed, because those women being arrogant think if they hit on me, when they are so used to so many men hitting on them, there eithe must be something wrong with me or shock I do not think they are as wonderful as all those men who have lied telling them things like, ‘you are the most beautiful woman in the world’ or some such, and I have actually had women in love with me that could actually be some of the most beautiful women in the world, virtually literary and I would not say that to them unless I was really in love with them, actually then I would not. I would say that I love them and for me they are the most beautiful woman in the world. The reason for this well, how can someone be the most beautiful woman in the world, what people find beautiful varies. And no matter how beautiful they are on the outside does it mean anything if they are not beautiful on the inside. You are seeing some stunning beautiful intelligent woman that pretends to be in love with you, and have a personality like an angel, you know she is lying to you about somethings, what though, then you start to see how toxic she is inside, literary poisonous. You realise she is a pathological liar, you cannot believe someone would lie about some of the things she would, what confuses you even more is that her lies are trying to convince you to be with her. Why lie if she wants to be with you ? She has asked you to marry her. Why, if it is based on lies what foundation is that for a relationship. Several years after she disappeared on you one day, you realise it is her that has been spreading lies and causing you so much trouble, then you get highly suspicious other ex’s have joined in. You also find out that ex has been clinically diagnosed by a psychologist as a pathological liar, narcissist sociopath / psychopath, and you realise she is an active one, not killing people but destroying lives, or driving people to suicide, including her own best friend, the woman she had known for years,, her confident she has told everything to and knows more about her than anyone else. How would I know all this, well a man got in touch with me who knew this ex of mine because she used to live with him as well as her best friend that had just committed suicide because she disappeared on her, what else she did who knows before she disappeared on her best friend. Do I sound like I do not like women, well you would be wrong if you thought so, men are just as bad, some women would say worse, but as 90% of people are toxic, that would also include most women, not just men. I do not really understand people being nasty to each other poisonous and toxic, it seems primitive, I understand intellectually, though I think that might make it worse for me.

I was asked out for a drink by a neighbour, this is 2019, we went to a local pub I am not particularly keen on, he wanted to talk about photography, and it was near so I went along, when we were getting a drink, someone else turned up we knew and started talking to him. I ended up talking to the woman that was serving us. she turned around and asked my name, I laughed and said why I don’t come in here very often ? Which made her laugh, she said I cannot blame you the people that come in here are rude and horrible. I said to you ? She said yes. She was young, pretty, and seemed nice, very personable. We did not speak for long but she said you thought I was very nice, really not like most of the people that drink there. The neighbour the man I went down the pub with, said after she seemed to really like you, and was very attractive. I said I suppose so. He then turned around and said I know you are use to women that look like super models, but she was very attractive. I said why would you think I am used to women that look like super models, the woman behind the bar was 19 years old and had a boyfriend, we would just talking, he still insisted he thought she really seem to like me. I found it more interesting that she really did find most of the people at the pub, rude, miserable and unpleasant, including the men that tried to hit on her when she was working, and yes she was rather attractive, a slender redhead, with a good face nice, with some nice curves and rather from our brief conversation a nice personality. Not because she thought I was a nice person, but she did seem one of the nice person, and I found it interesting that as she worked in a pub, in fact 2, she had told me, both part time, that I was much nicer than most people, which working in a pub, or 2 she meets a lot of people, then that has happens a lot. And as I said to my neighbour having an attractive 19 year old being friendly to me, even if she is serving me a drink in a bar, gets me slagged and lied about by people, especially if they appear to like me, as he observed when we were talking. By both man and women, who gossip lie and say I am a terrible person. How does being liked by an attractive pleasant woman, whether she is 19 or older make me a terrible person ? I have even heard people say when this has happened before I should not be talking to them because I am older. So I walk into a bar and do not talk to the person trying to serve me, how do I get a drink ? Then I ask for a drink and they start talking to me, and that makes me a terrible person ? This this has even happened when the women serving me can hardly speak any English but wants to talk to me, who was serving me a drink and was actually stunning and very sexy, in fact every time I went in the bar that was travelling on the Greek Islands in 2015 while I was on Samos, the woman told me her name in English would be Angel, and she would tell me more about herself and her life if she spoke more English, and I think she was somewhere between 20 to 25 years old, again obviously my fault some lovely woman was to talk to me and I should ignore them and be rude to them, they would go down well and probably get me slagged off by them as well as the toxic bitter people they seem to want to say I am terrible. So I am charming, intelligent, articulate, some very attractive women find me attractive and that makes me a terrible person. Or when I actually go out with some woman that I think is nice, and find attractive, then gradually realise it is only skin deep, or they are not as nice and pleasant as they purport to be, that makes me a terrible person. There are good people and let say some not so nice people in the world, it has nothing to do with whether they are men or women, nothing to do with whether religious or not, nothing to do with what race or colour they are, but they do seem, the good, to be very much in minority. I mean intrinsically good to do with the underlaying structure, way of being and thinking in the world. There are so many foul, toxic lying people in the world that do not realise they are, as they think gossiping, lying, backstabbing about people is what life is about and what people do, or many do not seem to be intelligent enough that they actually understand that what they are doing and think the lies they spread are real and not lies, in their opinion which is not based or any knowledge, truth, thought, deductive reasoning or anything else, and even when shown proof and evidence they are spreading lies, misinformation they do not understand or believe it, convinced their opinion is more valid than any proof, science, truth, thought or that their twisted perception is the correct one.

What do most people spend their lives talking about, art, poetry, science, philosophy, novels, thought ? I know I do, about the awe and wonder of life. But I also do realise most people do spend most of their life gossiping, moaning, lying and ‘bitching’ about other people. That they are also petty, jealous, nasty and mean and life is so unfair because they are not any good at anything much, or intelligent, and while admiring some people that are, actually hate them as well or anyone else that actually is truly good at things, or think anyone can do that, which they can’t, just copy someone that already has. It might seem I have a dim view of humanity as a whole, but think that these are the reasons humanity and the planet are in the mess they are, I mean if they majority of the human race are toxic, poisonous, selfish, egoistic, narcissistic, and think some god is going to come and save them, no wonder the planet is turning toxic for all life.

Now talking about this is, is that any better, well I write beautiful poetry, paint amazing paintings, sculpt beautiful philosophical sculptures, make art philosophy art installations that make people think and open up the world to them, take amazing photographs and all that gets me slagged off and lied about by people, not everyone, or people saying I could do that. Which has been going on at least ever since I first went to art school, by my lecturers at first not by my fellow students. I am also extremely intelligent, now I believe in equality, and equity, but I cannot make someone else as intelligent as I am, I cannot make them as creative or imaginative, I could teach them technical skills but that is not the same thing. I could suggest they read books so they had more knowledge and insight, which would also make them appreciate life more, or should do, the awe and wonder of existence. I actually do not think telling everyone they are amazing or can do anything is that helpful or a very good idea, because most people are not amazing and cannot do anything, they can learn more and become better people, everyone can. But they cannot do anything, cannot be like Leonardo da Vinci no matter how much they learn and practise, they cannot be Albert Einstein, or Marie Curie. They can try, they can be the best of what they can be, but to expect most people to be a wonder, or far more intelligent or creative than they actually are does them no good nor society or the world. I can do many things, and supposed to be brilliant at some things, but I cannot do everything, and I can always learn more, understand more, gain more knowledge, update the knowledge I have. Does that sound arrogant, wrong, I have my artists book in The Tate special archive of artists books. Most artists alive or dead with never have that. In fact virtually no artist will. My artist book is suppose to be a piece of art in its own right, then I am an artist and made it, it has my art, writing, poetry, photography in, I got it professionally bound as I am not a book binder, I could learn but it is not my main thing and I am sure they the people that bound my book did it better than I could.

Now imagine you are one of the most brilliant people on the planet at the things you do. Sounds good to you. Then try to understand how many people will hate you for it. Especially someone that is a pathological liar, narcissist sociopath / psychopath, more so if they want to be able to do what you can, but can’t because they have none of the talents or skills needed, and even wanting to be with you, and them, her being stunning beautiful, does not work, because of what she is like. You can imagine how much she might want to destroy you, how far she will go, how far she will lie and badmouth you. Then even people who are not pathological liars and psychopaths will lie about you and try to fuck your life up, so imagine, pissing off a women who is a pathological liar, narcissist sociopath / psychopath who has a habit of trying to destroy ex partners lives.

Friday the 13th, 19-09-2019, walking down to get some shopping. Get to the lights where I need to cross the road as just as I get there a line of motorbikes across the lanes start revving their motorbikes till they are screaming, not that that unusual or coincidence, as it keeps up while I am crossing the road than stops, I turn road as I am on the island in the middle of the road and say to the nearest biker, “Keep revving the bike, seems to be a sign of no balls and a little prick”. O he is looking at me and listening. I think they think they are cool or something, just shows what little pricks they are. Not sure if it is to do with some of my ex’s, particularly Arielle De Lacy / Ava De Lacy that trashy clinically diagnosed pathological liar, narcissist, sociopath / psychopath. Or Brexit, as I have been vocally against the stupidity since it was first spoken of. Ecology and my opinion on sustainability, racism, after all I have had racism from white people, black people, Indian people (which would include Pakistani, and Bangladeshi), Middle Eastern, Chinese people, and just about everyone else, after all as has been mentioned by people I have known in my past I am a bit like the UN, I like beautiful intelligent women of all races and colours. It could be because of the miserable, idiotic, ignorant lying people in a particular area of Spain. Then it could be because I have had beautiful women who were pop stars, fashion models, actresses, and beautiful women in general hit on me at different times in my life. Could be because I agree with science and evolution etc… Could be all of the above, I have had little pricks hassling me on motorbikes, cars, vans, etc while walking down the street, driving since at least 2015, and probably earlier, just did not realise what it was about or that it was particularly aimed at me. I have known little pricks that ride motorbikes like the ones today, since I was at school, was also being hassled by Hells Angels more little pricks on motorbikes, ‘choppers’. Well, have be hassled by the police as well, not all but more little pricks. Still little pricks though. Never quite got the whole motorbike thing, though have been known to ride one, but some who do think they are cool or rebels, no just little pricks. Though I know some women like motorbikes as they are like giant vibrators, the vibrations you know, and they can be fun to ride, just like most things though, too many little pricks do. Then just like beautiful women come in all shapes, sizes and colours so do little pricks well they ride motorbikes or not. Though the little pricks have probably been masturbating over some of my ex’s or the women that have hit on me, who have then slagged me off because I was not interested.

“Stupidity is the same as evil if you judge by the results.” Margaret Atwood

And I do believe Margaret Atwood might be onto something there…

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My other blogs;

https://russellhandartist.com

Few examples of my photography https://photographer.russellhand.com

Thundering 2 https://artist.russellhand.com

My original blog in 2015, though edited down to minimum and did the others;

https://russellhandartist.wordpress.com

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